And he said, "Ride THIS Stride"

In early 2009, things that I already struggled with became nearly impossible. I live next to a military base. And for lord only knows what reason, I started having an overwhelming fear of being shot in the head. The fear and scenes became so horrific it drove me to a PhD. One that specialized in head trauma. I began doing things such as sleeping on the floor in case a bullet came flying into the house. This was not a reasonable fear. I began not wanting to drive anywhere as I was surrounded by Ft Lewis. It was explained to me what I was experiencing was something called PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder). I learned some skills and driving got better, for a brief time.Then it would all come back again. More intense. 

In 2010, these flashes of being shot in the head, transferred to riding. I would get on Esco and see horrific scenes. They at first where short and then grew to long horrifying scenes. By 2011, it was nearly paralyzing. These scenes would flash, I could not control them. At times, I was not sure if I was not going to die right then and there from a heart attack. When Mike Osinski took us on full time this year, I believe he probably had an idea this was happening. Though I had never told anyone other than a shrink. One particular lesson after I had mentioned that Esco was so hard to me for ride, I mean this is the horse that fell on me, with no warning. He was hard for me to ride as he felt "Tippy." Each ride I would wonder if this would be the ride where he would fall again. The entire ride, I would think, " Don't fall , don't fall, don't fall, please don't fall." He felt not like a huge broad wide warmblood. 

So during this one lesson Mike, said via the head set, " The horses who can do FEI, they do feel tippy. They are athletic, and they can bend, and are supple. When I watch his feet Sallie, each one steps perfect on the ground. You do not need to worry about him falling. I want you to notice his stride. i want you to feel how he feels under you. He does not take up all the space between your leg. He is an athlete. I want you to feel it, feel this stride, this  stride......and this stride. The last 5 strides do not matter, they are gone. The next 10 strides do not matter for they are not here. You ride THIS stride!......this stride and this stride. If a bird flew in and pecked him on the end of the nose, it does not matter, you keep him going in this stride." The arena is 100x200 ft. Mike called out THIS stride for an entire lap. Then proceeded to say it several more times throughout the hour lesson. This lesson did so much for me. When I would drive and see a flash, I would actually shake my head and say, " You ride THIS STRIDE!" When I would have any of these flashes, I would just call out, "this stride you ride this stride, the next 10 do not matter."  This is one of 50 things that has been conquered while riding a horse with instruction by Mike Osinski.

Sallie Stewart